PICKLEDICK

Since Leroy the dog beater (pictured below) wasn’t kind enough to link out appropriately. The End.

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Pickledick

And here is your random picture with bacon involved. I can’t even force myself to put up those raw bacon bikini shots. All future bacon bikinis must be cooked first so I can eat it.

And 6 reasons why bacon is better than loving this girl.

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Jesus Gave Bacon To Children

If you’re wondering about the legitimacy of these goons, see the following:

Clearing The Air on VerifiedSEO.com
Peek a Boo I see you!
Verified SEO Open Challenge
Verified SEO FAIL
Verified SEO Service Is A Scam Run By Charles Preston

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Verified SEO Scam

In honor of Streko and his Top 20 people who don’t suck a lot, I figured I’d do my own list, and it only has one person on it.

1. This Douchebag Fucktard

In fact, he’s such an enourmous cock waffle that I think I’ll run a contest. $50 Amazon gift certificate to the first person that can correctly identify this person and any one site he it owns. If he wants to play the outing game, then we’ll see how he like it.

And as customary, here is your random hot chick…but you can’t make her bigger, all because of Mr. SEOCallout bitch. Instead, the link goes to the ever cool Dave Snyder. His other site, which makes you wonder, so now you have to click it.

UPDATE: Twitter and Company apparently put the hammer down on this profile. Not sure how, but I’m guessing @Ev read this post and decided it was for the best.

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2008 Top 1 Person Who Sucks (a lot)

$69.60 for Thesis Personal

$131.20 for Thesis Developer

$61.60 for Developer Upgrade

You must use this code to get the discount - 20D03977D0 (don’t forget this!).

Happy Thanksgiving everyone. Discount Thesis Wordpress Theme!

UPDATE: Rae has a great Thesis tutorial covering all the new features (hooks, etc). Check it out (after you go buy it).

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Black Friday Thesis Sale

DK of Purposeinc and the Fight Club/Poker Tournament has his alcohol consumption schedule planned out to the minute. I’ll be hitting the Wynn and most likely losing again in the poker tournament. However, if the Mute Lion can explain SEO to Rhea and Carolyn again I’d try to stay around for that at least.

Dan Perry from cars.com is holding an In-House event which I’ll be in for the drinks portion (be on time, Jessica Bowman of SEOinhouse.com is buying the first round).

Friday is the original Pubcon portion, which always rocks and I’ll be in town until Saturday afternoon so we can party until the sun rises or you pass out from all the Jägermeister shots.

Everything else is still pretty much open for me so let me know if you want to hook up for some beers, or if you want Streko to buy you a shot. He won the lottery the other day and has all the money he needs.

PS: Whoever can tell me how to use twitter on a Blackberry with no trackball wins at least 3 shots from me.

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Vegas Baby - Pubcon 2008 Here I Come

You’ve got the Category Base Killer plugin which seemed to work fine at first, but pagination wouldn’t work and apparently there is a problem with having a subcategory or a category with a parent.

There is the Top Level Category plugin, which worked only if you added an extension to your post names. You’d end up with funky looking URLs like /category/post.html/ and that would require redirecting all of your posts. And again pagination didn’t work.

There were a few more custom coding solutions I came across that blew up my blog.

Here is what I did and I’ve fooled around with mine enough to where I think it works right. First some caveats:

1) I’m using the Thesis Wordpress Theme (great theme by the way). I didn’t change any code inside the theme so this shouldn’t matter.

2) I don’t use subcategories or parent categories so I don’t know if that works or not. I also don’t use multiple categories, but I don’t think that matters. I believe it just uses the first one anyway.

3) My permalink structure is set at /%category%/%postname%/ - if yours is different, you’ll probably need to tweak it.

4) This isn’t a plugin (yet, I might get around to doing that but I have never written a plugin before and I wanted to get this out now). This means when you upgrade Wordpress, you have to insert the code again. (Tip: I comment in // $$$ Custom code // where I put in my own stuff so it’s easy to find and fix when Wordpress updates)

So, here is the solution:

1) In wp-includes/category-template.php search for the following line of code:

$catlink = get_option('home') . user_trailingslashit($catlink, 'category');

Just below that, insert the following:

$catlink = str_replace('/category', "", $catlink);

2) In wp-includes/classes.php search for the following block of code:

if ( isset($error) )
$this->query_vars['error'] = $error;

Just below that, insert the following:

if (@$this->query_vars["name"] == "page")
{
$tmp_ar = $this->query_vars;
$this->query_vars = array();
$this->query_vars["paged"] = str_replace("/", "", $tmp_ar["page"]);
$this->query_vars["category_name"] = $tmp_ar["category_name"];
}

3) Finally, in your .htacces file, add the following to redirect your old /category/ URLs to your new ones (if your blog doesn’t reside in the root, you’ll have to tweak it):

RewriteRule ^category/(.+)$ http://www.domain.com/$1 [R=301,L]

There you have it. I don’t guarantee this will work for you, and if it doesn’t, well bite me because I tried. And just to make this post more interesting, here is a random hot chick with Guitar Hero.

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Remove The Category Base From Wordpress

Here is what the Founders Co-op can offer you:

1. Money – with capital you’ll be able to grow your company.

2. Expertise – unlike most venture funds, the Founders Co-op isn’t made up of finance people, instead we are all entrepreneurs. Because of this you will get advice from people like Ben Elowitz who co-founded Blue Nile and took it public. Or Andy Sack who founded three Internet startups and sold them (the first company was bought by Acxiom, the second was bought by the New York Times, and the third was bought by Microsoft).

3. Networking – meeting random people on a regular basis is easy, but meeting people that can help your business grow is hard. Through the Founders Co-op you will get to meet the right type of people.

So if you’ve got that big idea and need some direction, don’t pass up on this opportunity and apply for a big piggy bank. I would be all over it on something I’ve got in my head, but I don’t qualify (this little idea would have to be out of the US…if you get my drift).

Congrats to Neil on another successful investment. The guy is on a roll!

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I Know Kung Fu And Now You Can Too

Please forgive the remodeling, I decided it was time to take my theme from 2005 that was so hacked to pieces and upgrade to Thesis, an actual professionally done theme. Plus I needed to do some PHP trickery for Rae, and I needed it to work on something from this decade (sorry Rae, I’ll get to it soon).

Anyway, the point of this post is Think Tank 2008 from DK and Purposeinc is coming up very soon and there are only a couple spots left so get on it if you want to go. This is a conference that’s not really a conference gathering of great minds which I’m totally pumped about. Informal conversations and group think is where the great ideas come from, not from watching the 43rd damn powerpoint presentation in a room filled with a couple hundred people.

There will be some very powerful players sharing their knowledge in a closed setting and it’s information that won’t be leaked (NDA required). John Andrews will be attending and if you follow him at all you know he’s not fond of conferences so that’s says a lot right there. As far as I can tell, everyone attending is successful in different areas of online business; Neil Patel, Jeremy Schoemaker, Aaron Wall, Chris Winfield…well you get the point, there are too many to mention. A lot of people I look forward to meeting and seeing again (bring your drinking shoes Rhea). Oh, and this chick will be walking around somewhere (or maybe I just wanted to include some porn, you’ll just have to go and find out).

The diversity of people that will be there is what I’m excited about. I know what my weaknesses are and will be able to get conversations going with the right people to enhance my skill set, and I’ll be able to share with others what I’ve learned in my 8 years doing this stuff. (Tip #1: always include hot girls).

There will also be lots of activities going on…and I’m pretty sure there will be lots of beer there. That’s key. So, if you think you might want to hit a real un-conference conference where you’ll go home with a hangover and more importantly a brain filled with some solid info, get off you ass and go sign up.

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Think Tank 2008 - Last Chance Ass Hats

So with Shoemoney sporting the SEO Sucks t-shirt, I’ve made the one I’m wearing to Pubcon. Complete with a cardboard cutout of Chris Winfield.

Just joking Shoe, but someone had too

PS: Streko is demanding a link so here it is.

Update: Since I’m a whore, here a little promo. And yes, I do use the tools.

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SEO Sucks And Shoemoney Swallows At SES