SHUT THE FUCK UP

Many moons ago I wrote about staying away from posting just be keep a consistent posting schedule. I’m changing my mind. Don’t waste any more of my mother fucking time with useless shit. Post all you want about fake profiles. Call someone out if you want, but have a fucking legitimate reason.

Do: I think Doug is a douchebag because he said *insert idea*. I think *insert my idea*
Don’t: I think Doug is a douchebag just because.

And feeding the flames with crap in the comments makes it worse. If the post is about fake profiles, then the comment section should talk about the post. Take the rest of it somewhere else so I don’t have to listen to it. I have better things to do.

THE END.

Disclaimer: All names used in this post are for generic use only

COMMENTS ARE CLOSED

This post is from TheMadHat: SEO Blog

Open Letter To The SEO Community

Bido does live domain auctions that are unlike any other I’ve seen. They only do one domain per day with a one hour auction. This is good for me because I can’t pay attention to the other forty million auctions going on. It likely will create a higher demand for each auction considering there will be more attention on it so that’s a good play by them.

The second unique thing is their seller guarantee. There is no reserve on all their auctions and when you place your domain for sale you list a “reasonable” price expectation. If they don’t sell it for that, then they pay you your expected price anyway. This seems risky on their part and good for us, but I don’t know how they determine what a reasonable price expectation is yet so we’ll see.

Finally, another unique point is the social aspect of the whole thing. They have experts that evaluate the value for each domain that’s up for auction. This is a little weird because everyone values things differently, and it’s hard to get a handle on it. Essentially it’s worth what you are willing to pay for it. There will always be inherent risk involved in domain speculation.

Let’s take yesterday’s auction as an example. The domain was discountimages.com. How good is this domain? Well, the “experts” all had values listed well above what I paid for it. The highest on a resale basis was $5000 and something like $20,000 for and end user. The lowest was Todd Malicoat who didn’t like the domain much and had it at something like $1000 max. Based on what everyone says, I got a bargain at $911.00 but it’s all in the eyes of the beholder right? The maximum I was willing to pay was $1200. When I bought it I just planned to sit on it for a while and flip it when the time is right but now I think I might develop it. I need to do quite a bit of research in the stock image world first, but I think it might be worth the time to develop.

Yesterday they didn’t have an automatic time extension (correction: they did have an extension) for bids below five minutes, which was good for me because I creeped in at 2 minutes and snagged it from “Horney”. Sorry about that Horney…I’d give you a link but I don’t know who you are. Today GolfIowa.com was up and with 5 minutes left the highest bid was $61.00. After a flurry of activity the final price was $460.00 so you can see the obvious benefit. I also got a lot of PR in the process so a big thanks to the nice folks at Bido for contacting me.

Congratulations on a successful launch and I’ll certainly be back. You’ve earned the Official Seal of Awesomeness. And congratulations to me for being more awesome than you.

This post is from TheMadHat: SEO Blog

Bido.com Launches And I Was First FTW!

Here’s the deal yo…advanced can mean anything. Most “SEO’s” that I know come from a marketing background. What that basically means is most blackhat is going to be advanced. As soon as you start spouting auto generated content via arrays, PHP scrapers or whatever then it’s advanced for them. On the other hand “SEO’s” that come from a developer background (or marketing type SEO’s who have a solid grasp of what developers can do and have some minions) find the majority of “blackhat” things mentioned at SMX pretty basic shit. Then you’ve got the guy who’s never been to a conference. PR sculpting, bot herding, advanced analytics is all going to be advanced for them.

Rob (evilgreenmonkey) in particular got pointed at several times about his presentation in the “Give It Up” session. I know I’m not supposed to blog about it for a month, but since when do I listen. Basically he said that the coyote keeps getting screwed by ACME and their crappy dynamite. Yea, did you really think I was going to piss off Danny Sullivan and bring the Hammer of Injustice down on me? Again. But really what he said wasn’t anything even remotely new to anyone that does any blackhat already so get over it people. There were a few things that you usually hear in the corner of the bar, and in my opinion, that’s great. Knowledge is power, or didn’t you forget to read Meditations? Was some of it blackhat? Sure. Was any of it bad? No. If you don’t like it, you don’t have to listen. If you listen, you’re at a supposedly “advanced” conference so you should know the risks.

Now, on to the ever controversial post from Bruce Clay because apparently I get under Lisa’s skin. That’s okay Lisa, I like you anyway. Here’s the part that got under my skin:

Black hats get under my skin because (a) they’re not SEOs (b) they very often provide a bad experience for users and (c) they make the rest of us look bad by association.

Right. (a) Whatever. I don’t need an SEO label. Call me a Search Engine Humpty Dancer for all I care, I’m still really good at it whatever color the hat it is. (b) we often provide a better experience for users than all you holier than thou (Shari Thurow) whitehats. For example, say I’m delivering targeted content to my return users based on their browsing history. This gives them far more targeted content and a better user experience, but it is considered blackhat cloaking to Google without question. There are plenty of examples of better user experiences that break Google guidelines. (c) If you look bad by associating with me and the rest of “my kind”…well you’re probably right about that one but I don’t think it’s because we do SEO in a certain way. I think it’s more because we call out things as we see it.

From a client perspective I’d rather hire someone who is well versed in blackhat to control my website than a whitehat. The majority of us conduct business with full disclosure about the risks of everything we do. I know some idiot whitehats that make us all look bad too…one’s been living in a cave. Come on Doug, go ahead and comment so I can ignore you some more.

Moving on…SMX Advanced was a good time. If you weren’t hanging out with us a lot then you’ll be confused. But here is a little something for Rhea, who is one of the coolest people around and always willing to share knowledge and battle the douchebags. (And she worked her ass off for that press pass Loren, you should give her one for PubCon too).

And for Brian, who seems to have brain malfunctions around Rhea…but he really does know his shit. It’s a Mute Lion. Blind Cheetah. Impotent Cat.

Next up is Think Tank in Sunny San Diego (Discovered by the Germans in 1904, they named it San Diago, which of course in German means a whale’s vagina.) in September (invite only, email me if you’d like to come and I’ll make introductions) and then on to PubCon for some debauchery.

This post is from TheMadHat: SEO Blog

Yo Fat Girl Look At Me, I’m Skinny. It Never Stopped Me From Gettin’ Busy

SMX Social next week. I’ll be there Monday - Thursday. Hit me up on twitter or shoot me an email and we’ll have some Jager. Don’t try to keep up, you’ll regret it.

                                                                                                                                                                          Yes, those girls are now following me around because I’m paying their salary with the amount of Jager consumed. They also gave me an IV bag so I can just get to the point. See you next week. ありがとう

This post is from TheMadHat: SEO Blog

Do Not Click Here

The End. Have A Nice FAIL.

This post is from TheMadHat: SEO Blog

Friday Tea Time - Failure Edition

This post is from TheMadHat: SEO Blog

[($ + Money) / Google Hatred] = Rank

Disclaimer: I don’t condone any of these activities, even if I do them. Play at your own risk. If you don’t want people to see what you write, don’t write it. Duh.

Debauchery: A wild gathering involving excessive drinking and promiscuity

There is some actual debauchery that goes on in the twitterborg. One of the few people banned and reinstated by the twitter police (apparently due to so many people blocking him) is a fellow that goes by the handle FoulBastard. He brought the boobies of twitter to Fouly’s Angels.

Another fringe twitter personalitly is alphabitch. She know how to bring the noise.

What other fun trouble can we get into? Here are some ideas.

* Spy on your significant other. My significant other is now following me so she’s discovered I’m infatuated with Sugarrae. See how useful the twitterborg is? (Go and follow her, she’s complaining that no one talks to her).

* Spy on your ex-significant other. I’m not sure what the law actually says, but let’s pretend for a minute this doesn’t fall under the definition of stalking.

* Spy on your employees. This is probably not very ethical, but then again neither am I.

* Lock your profile so you can talk shit about your boss or whomever the hell you want to talk shit about. You can even use curse words.

* Flirt with strangers. Find the hottest avatars and hit on them. Beware of the backlash this may cause. Also beware of some of them being dudes. Did I mention I have a crush on Sarah East? I AM NOT A STALKER!

* Spy on your enemies. Enough said.

Douchebaggary: Implies the act of engaging in douchebag related activities, acting in accordance with douchebag law, or acting as an accomplice to a person who is widely held to engage regularly in douchebag related activities. When used in this context, the word is often pronounced in an accent similar to that of Sean Connery.

There is also some douchebags on twitter that can get really annoying. So don’t be a douchebag. (I don’t really have anything against Scoble, he’s just an easy target.)

Also, you can follow iJustine, just don’t pretend like you’re friends with her and don’t be surprised when she calls the cops when you show up at her house or something.

Drunkenness: The state of being intoxicated by consumption of alcohol to a degree that mental and physical faculties are noticeably impaired.

BEWARE OF THE DRUNKEN TWITTER! You can say some really idiotic things that may seem inappropriate the next day. It’s like the drunk dial forever implanted on the interwebs. Also when you’re drunk, people can record your drunken falling down ambulance rides.

Twit: A British slang word for an insignificant, foolish or annoying person. The kind of person that makes a retarded chimp look smart.

You are now a twit. There are many useful and sneaky ways to use the twitter and in my opinion it’s the best social network out there at the moment. The items listed above don’t fall in that category. They fall in the “I’m a nutball category”.

If you for some reason got here first, well you’re a fucktard and you should have read these first. It’s a twitter orgy. I hope you don’t need me to define orgy….cause I will. By the way, I did wrrite the enddd of thisss postt a litttle durnekdn. Sweeeeet. The End.

Twitterfox Review From Superman
Review of the Coolest Shit Ever
TwitterTools integrating with Wordpress and Twitter
Twittering and Twitterific - Cause Joost IS totally THE MAN
TwitterBerry - Because We Like To Show Everyone Up With Video
Twitterfeed From A Rock Star
Twitter and TwitBin - Microblogging - Totally Easy
Using Netvibes for SMO

This post is from TheMadHat: SEO Blog

Debauchery, Douchebaggary, & Drunkenness: Being A Twit

Oh, but you’ve really pissed me off and I’m coming after you Google. BIG TIME. I don’t know if your immature computer brain can remember what this is, but I’ve got one of these in my basement and I’m unleashing it on you.

Would you like to play a game?

This post is from TheMadHat: SEO Blog

Friday Tea Time - Google Must Be Feeling Lucky

Go check out the story and Sphinn it, Stumble it, and whatever else it. And hey Sphinn….don’t be like the Chinese government and take it down, it’s [ALLEGEDLY] a legitimate story that should be seen.

This post is from TheMadHat: SEO Blog

Clickbooth [ALLEGEDLY] Likes To Attack Their Affiliates